How to get him realize I'm the one for him and that he needs to get over his ex?

[Cali]

So here's my story... At the time I started dating a guy...I didn't know about his ex. After 3 weeks when we started, I went abroad for 5 months. We talked every day, he even talked about kids and marriage and living together and everything. But when I came back, it was like he was scared. He tried to break up with me for whatever reason. Later he told me about his ex...that he's still scared of being in a relationship, because his ex cheated on him and then went with the other guy. It's now 3 and a half years since they broke up.
Now we're not a couple with that guy, but sometimes we still get together... what kills me is that when we are together, it's wonderfull, but when we're not together, he doesn't call, sometimes doesn't even take a call when I call him. The last time we get together, he told me that he still feels something for his ex...and also for me.
I told him many times that I want to be with him and that I love him....but he doesn't want to give it a try again, he says that now he can't give me what I deserve. He also said that he got used to me and that he doesn't want to go with some girl all from the start. Then I said: so you will be with me... And he said: i don't know, we'll see.
He asked me if I'm over all of my ex's...I said yes and that well I'm not over him...he said he's not my ex. You know, but we're also not a couple...and he doesn't call me or something...and it kills me that it's so nice when we're together, but when we're not, it's nothing, we don't talk, nothing

How do I make him realize that he needs to give it a try and try to forget her???
How do I achieve that also he will contact me sometime, call me, send message, whatever...

[Sonia5]

Hello,
Their is no issue on that you just build trust in him upon you that's all.........



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[Mischelstraus]

I read out your story. I don't understand if the guy is not helping or responding you in your emotions then why you want to be with him. As you said that he broke up with his ex 3 yrs before and after he was with you for 5 months but i don't seem any love. Why you want such boy that left you when he found his ex guilty. I think you should move ahead, don't stick up to the same point as it only gives you the feeling of disappointment.
one thing want to share- If you love someone set him free, if he come back he is yours if not then he never was...
All the best

[carbenthomas]

Communicate the fact to him that he's not ready for a serious relations; that you have feelings too and until he is over his girlfriend then it's best to part your ways and each go your own way. This will give both of you head space to think more clearly and if he really loves you then 'absence makes the heart grow fonder.' It's a risk, but it helps you get on with your life. Don't take what he's dishes out.

[Sonia5]

Hay,
What's up look i have already told you that build trust on him and try to attract him for sex you can do that.


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[Sonia5]

Hello once again in this forum i think you got the solution am i right.

[sex]

It take time honey, don't try to hurry. It just has to him or it will end up hurting u too.

[Jonsan]

If he's not noticing you and that you're already trying to put yourself out there. It's likely that he won't notice you for quite awhile, and it seems like you're trying to hard. Just chill out, maybe talk to him and see if he's busy. Best way to get his attention if getting him to hang out with you.

[happy]

There is nothing you can do to make him realize that he is the one for you. He has to realize that for himself. If a guy is blinded because he is scared or afraid of commitment, you cannot make him have a relationship with you. When the right time comes for him, he'll know. I think you have to move on and think about what is good for you. If he really is the one for you, he will look for you. You don't need to wait for him to realize that. If you insist on having you in his life, you are only pushing him away more. Go on with your life. I'm pretty sure that there are other guys out there who appreciate what a good person you are.

[evlynbrn]

I would suggest you to just spend more time casually talking about different things and knowing his perspective about different issues. This would help him gain some confidence in you and be more open with you in his behavior and gradually you could make him believe in a relation that you would like to get into. If this is not he case and he is not trying his bit to make the relationship work it would be better if you get over the relation as there is no point in waiting and hurting yourself again and again.